Friday, March 11, 2016

Dream: Lava and Fences

Last night I dreamt of being in this multi-story wooden structure, large and somewhat rustic. There were lots of people. I don't think I liked them very much. From what I remember emotionally, it felt like a love interest had betrayed me. She had turned to her friends. They didn't like me. I remember frantically running around this building. I can't remember if I was trying to hide or what. It was very tense. I think I may have had a gun. In every single dream that I have a gun, I can't pull the trigger - I try and try, but the trigger pull weight is always too much. Somehow a fire started in the lower levels of the wooden structure and began to spread quickly.

I looked down and saw that people were being consumed in the flames below. They couldn't make it out or to the upper levels where I was. I watched silently as the flooring fell into a great fiery abyss. I saw a top-down view of a volcano erupting. I stared stupidly at it before I realized what it was. I was looking at lava, on it's way upwards. I began to run. I climbed over, through, up. I looked behind me. Some 30 feet back, the lava was coming. The wooden structure was being consumed. I was already tired. I pushed myself harder. I finally emerged from what had been something like a large multi-story temple. I was standing in marsh land - green with growth. The ground was very soft and in places saturated with water. There was a fence ahead. The lava was still coming quickly. I jumped the fence. Ran a few yards and had to jump another fence. This continued on and on. With each fence I had to jump I grew more and more tired. I woke up.

The feeling of having been part of these people - and of intimacy with one of the women was very strong, as was the sense of betrayal. I had been, for whatever reason, completely shut out and ostracized from them. Had she cheated on me? I remember a particular male from the dream. I had a distinct hatred for him. 

These are reoccurring themes within my waking life. Those scars will never heal. There is nothing so devastating to an individual as betrayal and rejection. To love someone, and have absolutely no reciprocation. No meaning to them. It is a type of murder. The person I was, is no longer. Something else is in his place.

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