Sunday, November 23, 2014

The Pilot's Melancholy



Sat through 2 baby dedications at church today.  It struck me that my feelings towards such, are the same feelings I've been carrying around since adolescence. A deep cynicism.  I saw large families - with great grandparents, grandparents, parents.  People my age with kids.  And what do I have?  I'm the poster-child for "free will", as in the compatibilist view.  All my choices, have stemmed from a certain cynicism, and have landed me where I'm at in life - I'm unable to share in joy.  Unable to have joy.  My entire universe is steeped in melancholy, sometimes bearable, sometimes not.  It has been so since I can remember.

Dominik Smialowski

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