Irascible Independence

I reach for you.  A rainbow.  The streams are saline.  Clouds darken the skies and I fight the urge not to feel the pain but instead to feel self-pity, a comfort of cowardly and selfish souls.  I spoke harshly, further hardening, furthering contempt, sliding down the aisle, right door exit.  Where did I park?  My heart pounds with tremendous and dark passions, anger, unbelief at the lines of intersect.  What were the odds of this perfect omen?  What does this mean?  I am yet as I was.  A test?  A temptation?  Sifting.  He who holds the sieve with violence hopes for the worst possible outcome, yet, he who ordains the process refines.  My father.  His groans in the night have become my own.  My father.  I reach for you. A rainbow.  The streams are saline.  As time goes by. As her love fades my love remains, unconditional by choice, for better or this worse outcome, illigitimately concieved by the hollow kiss of betrayal, my lips now refused. Adultery consumated, I am left with only darkening skies, a rainbow. I burned the epic chartreuse signs of rejection.  The permanent marker was impermanent. I am mutable, by choice or default.  I choose to be autonomous.  I choose this flame to be my silent muse. The rainbow is my respite, though I know not how to interpret it.