Husbands as High Priests? Really?

My name is Aaron.  I was married to one of those of the female gender, named Julia, on December 17, 2011.  She has a Baptist background, and I a Pentecostal background; her parents divorced, my parents still married; she a Democrat, I a Republican (luckily, neither of us are party people, both essentially classical conservatives).  We both grew up in an American postmodernist culture, which is for us a nostalgic place to visit via obsolete media, now, in the time of post-American postmodernist culture.

The worlds that once were, are no more, nor are those worlds' standards, generally speaking, any longer valid.  Soon the Simpsons will be as politically incorrect, as socially unacceptable, as the Flinstones now are.

One thing that amazingly remains immutable is the Word of God.  Our bibles today are not at all changed from the earliest manuscripts which we have, which date to around the time the New Testament was written.  What has changed — what is seemingly in perpetual change — is the interpretation of those scriptures, and what C.H. Spurgeon called "illegitimate spiritualizing"; that is, a fancifulness; a sort of mysticism; clever allegories highly theoretical, which he says Bunyan alone did well in, legitimately. 

So, it came one night whilst my wife and I were laying in bed that we got into an argument on the roles of the male and the roles of the female, in relation to each other.
  

I argued that my new office of Husband coincided and was concurrent with the office of High Priest, and that as such, I was going to — in fact already had — set up the guidlines to our daily devotional and prayer time, which I proceeded to share with her.  She immediately rebelled loudly, and things devolved into an argument from whence she exited to the couch for the night.  I then started googling on "Husband as High Priest", and made the mistake of commenting on the following page:

Husband As Priest of the Home?

Too, I found this site interesting:

 
Is the Husband the High Priest of the Home?

My two main points are this:  

• No human relationship is equal, is 50/50.   Opposites attract, and opposites only exist in relation to each other.  One is Yin, the other Yang; one submissive, one dominant.  Imagine any couple, any duo, any doublet, any pair, of any gender, of any species, and you will see this is truth, this is nature.  The argument made against me in this can be found in the above link.  It is as ridiculous as it is fallacious.

•  Christian marriage is not an equal partnership with Christ the head of the house as He is the head of the Church.

After having no satisfaction in reading the various interpretations of various scriptures pertaining to these things, I contacted Halsey, the head of Harvest Time Assembly's Men's Ministry.  I received this response, which amazingly to me, does not devolve into misogyny (the women in the aforesaid link seem to think Paul was a misogynist) nor feminism, but I believe is quite reasonable and sound an interpretation.  Here it is, in full:

Let me preface my comments with a disclaimer.  The thoughts I’m going to share are my own.  I have come to this way of thinking by my understanding of scripture and different studies that I have done. As with anything that I or anyone else says, I encourage you to pray about it and do your own research.  As you have found there are a variety of opinions on this subject.  As with anything we have to judge it by God’s word and our own hearts.

That being said, here are my thoughts:

I believe the question was “Is the husband the High Priest of the home in the literal or the metaphorical sense”.  First, let’s look at the responsibilities of the high priest.  Here’s a good description:

http://www.answers.com/topic/high-priest

From what I understand the high priest was a descendant of Aaron.  He was to set himself apart for the Lord’s service.  He was to be holy, without sin.  Some of his duties included entering the Holy of Holies to offer sacrifice for him and others.  There is no way that a husband can perform those duties for their family since Jesus is the one who is our sin sacrifice. S o, in that sense husbands cannot fulfill the role of high priest.

The tribe of Levi was called by the Lord to be set apart for the Lords service in the temple, (see Numbers 8).  They were to perform duties in the temple and to assist the high priest.  The high priest was responsible for overseeing all things in the temple and he was responsible for the actions of the Levites.   I Peter 2:9 speaks of those in Christ, (both male and female) — they are of a royal priesthood.  There is no difference in a saved woman compared to a man; one is not more saved than the other.  In a sense we all assume the role as priests with Jesus being our high priest.  But once a man and a woman enter into a marriage covenant, I believe that the husband does move into the role of overseer of the home.  Just as the high priest was responsible for the others serving in the temple, the husband becomes responsible for the household.  I know that’s a pretty bold statement, but I think the scripture backs it up.

When God created Adam He gave him specific instructions not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, (see Gen 2:16).   At that time Eve was not present and the scripture never says that God told Eve the same thing.  The understanding is that the Lord expected Adam to assume that responsibility.  Chapter 3  tells us of the fall.  When Eve ate of the tree and gave some to Adam, the Lord came looking for them.  He didn’t call for Eve, He called for Adam.  Adam was the one who was responsible.  Both Adam and Eve were punished for their disobedience, but in verse 17 the Lord repeats that it was Adam who he told not to eat of the tree.  I believe that Adam was totally responsible for is mates actions.

The verses that you quoted in Ephesians are probably the most quoted in regard to the marriage dynamic.  You yourself left out a verse that most overlook, verse 21, which says that we should submit our selves one to another.  The passages following clearly show that the husband should be the leader, as Christ is the leader of the church, but never forgetting that we should submit one to another.  Confusing, huh? 

These scriptures have been misused so often that many women flare up at the very mention of them. But I believe when administered properly they provide a guideline for what a Godly marriage should be.  Here’s my interpretation of it:

A husband is ultimately responsible for taking care of his wife.  He is to love her, provide for her and sacrifice, (in the sense of setting aside his desires, not dying on a cross) for her as Christ did for the church.  In matters of a spiritual of ethical nature, the husband should operate a Christ did.  I do not believe that a husband can overrule his wife in many other situations just because she should “submit”.  I have heard many men say, “We are not painting that room that color because I don’t like it.  I’m the husband and you need to submit to me”.  That is the wrong interpretation of that scripture.  But in a case where the Lord would be offended, the man can and should take the authority, regardless of the fall out.  A simple example would be cheating on your taxes.  If the wife wants to cheat a bit and the husband knows it’s wrong and not pleasing to God, then the man can assert his authority.  In that matter a wife should submit.  I believe that it would be arrogant to think that the man is the only one who would desire to handle things in a way that’s pleasing to the Lord. There are times when my wife has been the one to speak the truth and point me in the way the Lord would have me to go.  That’s where the “submitting one to another” comes in.  It should never be about who’s in charge but each person wanting the best for the other.

The examples are endless and there are many situations that can come up.  But if a husband is striving to follow the leading of the spirit and the wife is as well, then the scriptures in Ephesians can serve as a guide and not a club to beat the other with.

The word is very clear that we should study the word, meditate on it, pray and spend time with the Lord.  This is essential for our growth.  The bible never gives specifics as to when or how to do this. As husbands we need to be aware, just as the Lord is that we all have free wills.  I believe that when it comes to decisions that involve your wife and are not of a nature that blatantly violates God’s word, then those decisions should be made together. 

Of course, there are exceptions to every situation.  What works in my family may not work in yours. The key is to find the balance where all parties are growing spiritually and mentally.  The biggest problem has been that men in general haven’t taken any role in the home spiritually.  That is not the way God intended it to be. Should men stand up and take the role that God has for them? Absolutely!!  But what that looks like in each home can vary.  We are called to be the head of the household but we are called to love our wives, teach our children, to be peace makers and to follow the leading of the spirit.

I know I have strayed from the original question and have gotten a bit long winded, that’s how I am. In answer to your question, I do believe in many aspects husbands take on the role of high priest of the home; in the sense of being the overseer and the one called to be responsible.  We will all stand before the Lord one day, alone, and give an account for our lives.  But I also believe that we as men will have to give an account for how we lead our families.  Just as the Lord called Adam in the garden, He will call our names as well.

I would be happy to continue this discussion if you’d like. Feel free to ask any other questions that you might have. I promise to respond quicker next time.

Halsey